The Incredible Woman Eating Bed

I have already told you in an earlier post about my Gambian bed.  Little did I realize at the time that it is a determined foe.  It all started with minor misbehavior -- I would sit on the side of the bed or lie down to go to sleep and the end of one of the support boards would crash  to the floor, which meant getting up lifting up the mattress to find the errant board and then fixing it.  I was resigned to this until New Years Eve.  I guess my bed wanted to bring in the New Year with a bang -- literally. I got into bed and bang down a board went.  Fixed the board and bang another one went.  Got up and fixed that and then repeated the whole experience two more times.  AAARG!  The bed was defeating me.  At that point I told my woeful tale to Lindsay Roe, my UN co-worker.  She came up with the magical solution to all problems -- duct tape. When I got home that night I carefully duct taped all of the boards to the support boards.  Oh bliss, oh joy, the boards were firmly in place!!

I had tamed the beast.  But I tried to give the bed proper respect.  I tried to avoid sitting on the edge of the bed and would carefully slide into the bed at night, not wanting to anger the bed spirits.  But last week I did the unthinkable and sat on the edge of the bed as I got into bed.  BAM! one of the boards dropped to the floor.  In my  foolishness I decided to ignore it, thinking that the others were securely taped and went to sleep. When I woke up in the morning I was disoriented.  I could not figure out how to get out of bed.  Then I realized that both the foot and head of the mattress were upraised and I was stuck in the middle.  I tried to make my  way to the side but slipped back.  My mind was racing -- was I to remain locked in my house being consumed by a bed -- had any other PCVs been eaten by a bed?  Finally I was able to summon up super human strength and pull myself out of the jaws of the monster bed.  I threw the mattress aside and grabbed my mighty duct tape and wrestled the boards back into submission, applying duct tape as if I owned a duct tape factory.  The beast is tamed for now, but I know that it lies there, waiting for me to make another mistake, so that in can envelope me in its jaws.